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Thursday, Jul 26, 2007 @04:40pm CDT Preparing Your Child For Middleschool
By Ruth A. Peters, Ph.D. Contributor NBC TODAY
It’s the beginning of a new
school year and everyone seems to be ready — kindergartners are spit-shined and
looking as pretty as a penny, and grade-schoolers are color-coding their folders
and sharpening their pencils. High school kids are checking out who hooked up
with whom over the summer and wondering about the owner of the new red Mustang
convertible parked in the senior lot. And then there are the middle school kids
— kind of like the middle child in a family with three kids. Clinical
psychologist Dr. Ruth Peters was invited on "Today" discuss how parents can help
their kids transition from the child environment to the teen years in
school. Middle school often comes as a shock to the system, and it’s the wise parent who is prepared and ready to guide their kid through the transition from the relative stability and security of grade school to the somewhat chaotic environment found in many of our middle schools. The problem is often due to kids lacking organizational skills, not being particularly interested in managing their time efficiently and perhaps not caring about their grades as much as they should. In response parents tend to become concerned, generally reacting by nagging about homework completion and staying on track, grounding for slacking off, or just plain giving up on the kid. To help these children, especially those hitting the middle school wall, I’ve developed a program consisting of study skill training and organizational techniques that I teach to just about any kid who I can get my hands on! In addition, I offer behavior management guidelines to their folks to use in order to motivate their children to work my program. I’ve found that both parts are necessary for children to achieve good grades in middle school — your daughter can learn brilliant organizational skills but unless she’s motivated to use them on a consistent basis, she probably won’t. Plain and simple. Interested in setting the stage for academic achievement? Okay, let’s get going! There are five steps to getting and staying organized. Study Skill
Training Review the assignment sheet at
the locker Complete homework and study
for tests in a timely manner
Check that all work has been completed Organize the book bag for the
next day Motivating the
unmotivated Many kids do not see the value in completing all of their work every day, and some even purposely leave books, worksheets and folders at school so that they will not have to study that evening at home. If your child is not internally motivated to complete homework and to study for tests — don’t fret — that’s normal. It’s just very unpleasant and usually leads to nightly arguments, parental hand-wringing and kids placed on restriction! What to do? Well, I suggest bribing them to complete their responsibilities. There’s nothing wrong with stating consequences (both positive and negative) for task completion or lack thereof. As far as I’m concerned, doing one’s best at school is one the primary jobs of childhood. Not all kids will be “A” students, but they should give it their best effort.
Using the following five consequences to “jump-start” your child’s motivation will most likely bring success, better grades and end the nightly homework drama in your household. If the child completes the daily assignment sheet, brings home all necessary books and materials, completes written work and studies for tests, and packs the book bag for the next day, then he should be rewarded. Daily I offer a money allowance (therefore no cash is given for just showing up alive on Saturday), a clothing allowance (please don’t continue to cave in and buy sneakers and shirts on a whim now that your child is earning her own clothing money), a privilege token that can be saved up and cashed in later to go the movies, bowling, concerts, paint ball (poker chips work well), outside play and use of electronics for the remainder of the day (TV, video games, telephone, computer, etc.). These five rewards get most kids’ attention, and motivate them to write down and complete assignments in a timely fashion. With school approaching or having just begun, it’s important to help your middle-school child with proven organizational tools that are simple to use, make sense and quickly lead to good grades. Motivating the unmotivated with rewards (or taking them away for irresponsible behavior) is a proven, effective technique that will work in most homes — but you must be consistent. Once your kid gets the idea that you only “spot check” the homework, you may see less getting completed and more time spent emailing friends or talking on the telephone. Be consistent, stay involved, and use rewards and motivators that are important and interesting to your children. Dr. Peters is a clinical psychologist and regular contributor to “Today.” She is also the consultant psychologist for the Family Program at the Pritikin Longevity Center, a nutrition and exercise facility in Aventura, Florida. For more information you can visit her Web site at www.ruthpeters.com. Copyright ©2004 by Ruth A. Peters, Ph.D. All rights reserved. © 2007 MSNBC Interactive
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